


parody (but you know it)

by dancesontrains



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Creepy Eobard Thawne | Harrison Wells, Dark, Don’t Think About The Time-Travel Rules Too Closely, F/M, Ficlet, Forced Marriage, M/M, No beta we die like mne, Non-Consensual Kissing, Post-Season/Series 01 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:40:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29468862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancesontrains/pseuds/dancesontrains
Summary: “Before we start - is that" - she gestured to the restraints - "a kink thing?"“Yes," Eobard responded.The Judge blinked up at them from beneath her bangs. "Dr Wells, this is highly unusual-""We don't care, do we Barry?" Barry opened his mouth, was nudged at super-speed by Eobard, and shook his head instead.
Relationships: Background Eddie Thawne/Iris West, Barry Allen/Eobard Thawne | Harrison Wells, background Ronnie Raymond/Caitlin Snow, one-sided Barry Allen/Iris West - Relationship
Kudos: 14





	parody (but you know it)

**Author's Note:**

> AU from the S1 finale onwards - Eddie never thought to kill himself.

Barry stumbled up the beige hallway, half-dragged by Eobard.

His wrists were bound very tightly, in two welded loops of speed-dampening metal; his ankles had a few feet of chain connecting them, so he could still move his legs. He was sure that the clanking noises caused by the chain could be heard all around.

***

_After Barry had smashed Eobard's time ship, Eobard had acted with a controlled rage. He had beaten Barry until he was unconscious while everyone else looked on helplessly._

_Eobard stripped Barry's uniform from him to ensure that the trackers wouldn't work, and took him to a retrofitted part of the Central City sewers to lock him in restraints attached to the wall._

***

Now, after a shower and dressed in a nice suit, he was clanking his way into the courthouse building.

They moved from the hallway into a bigger, carefully appointed room. There was a clerk standing by some books and a couple of vases of flowers; she was the first one to see them and gasped in shock.

As they entered the room, Eobard spoke for the first time in a few minutes. 

"Thanks, Cisco!" He lifted up Barry's restrained wrists. "I appreciate them."

Barry blinked at the small group of people already seated there, that had turned to look at Eobard and him. He suddenly felt thankful that his metahuman healing powers had worked on the marks left after a long period of imprisonment; at least he didn't look _too_ shabby right now.

***

_After a day or so - it was hard to tell the time down there - he came back with a shocking offer._

 _Why hadn't he kept his mouth shut when Eobard asked if they even had same-sex unions 'in this barbaric age of yours?' Then again, what good would lying have done when they had just been passed and were all over the news?_

_So either Barry would marry him, or he would stay imprisoned and under speed dampeners till 'the timeline ends'._

_Marry the Man in Yellow, his mother's murderer? It had taken Barry a month of near-starvation, and a threat to Iris's life, to agree._

***

There were his Star Labs friends - Cisco with guilt in his eyes, Caitlin with tears in hers. Ronnie was next to Caitlin, stoically holding her up in her seat. His Dad was also there (it was the first time Barry had seen him out of his prison scrubs in years, so that was something) and he was looking horrified. Next to him, Joe was whispering into his ear.

Then there was Iris, sandwiched between Joe and Eddie.

Iris.

She looked as beautiful as ever, even while terrified for him and clutching onto Eddie's arm.

Barry had often dreamed of his and Iris's wedding, with her looking like an angel in all white and Barry waiting at the altar, with a freed Henry by his side. It had been a pleasant daydream - one that turned to bitterness and resentment as Iris progressed in her relationship with Eddie, but one that had made him happy for most of his life.

He had never dreamed of anything like this - in shackles, about to be forced to marry a man whom he despised.

***

_It was almost worth accepting just to eat his fill and shower. Eobard had brought him some of his own clothes, clearly pilfered from Barry's apartment, and he found himself grateful to put them on after so long in ratty underwear._

_Once Eobard thought he was ready, he was taken to the Central City Recorder of Deeds. Thawne had all their documents - well, Barry's and 'Harrison's' - ready, and they had the license quickly._

_Barry was sent back to his hellish sewer prison while they waited the appointed three days._

***

Too soon, Barry was past the small group of his friends and family, and in front of the Judge. She had a nameplate calling her 'Judge H. Edelstein' in front of her.

Judge Edelstein was an ordinary looking woman in her forties wearing small wire framed glasses and an expression that was best described as 'I'm not paid enough for this shit.'

"Before we start - is that" - she gestured to the restraints - "a kink thing?"

"Yes," Eobard responded.

The Judge blinked up at them from beneath her bangs. "Dr Wells, this is highly unusual-"

"We don't care, do we Barry?" Barry opened his mouth, was nudged at super-speed by Eobard, and shook his head instead.

"Now. Can we get started?"

"...Of course."

The woman shifted some papers in front of her, quickly searching for the correct vows. Caitlin's tears turned into all-out weeping. Cisco could be heard, trying to gently hush her.

"It's the short civil vows," Eobard reminded her.

"Aha!" the judge slid her glasses up her nose, before looking up at them and smiling slightly as she gave her speech. 

"The wedding ring is a symbol of unity, a circle unbroken, without beginning or end. And today, Harrison Wells and Bartholomew Henry Allen give and receive these rings as demonstrations of their vows to make their life one, to work at all times to create a love that is whole and unbroken, and to love each other without end."

Barry desperately held the 'unimpressed and disgusted' expression off his face. By this point, he could hear that Iris was weeping too, so he focused on that instead of the words that were rushing around his ears.

"Now exchange your rings."

Eobard pulled out a small box from his trouser pocket, and reached over to Barry's pocket to pull out an identical box. He opened them both, placing a small gold ring onto Barry's left ring finger while pretending to make Barry's constricted hands slide a similar ring onto his own left finger.

There was a pause. The Judge cleared her throat, glancing at the unhappy crowd with a puzzled expression and shaking her head at Joe and Henry, who were still whispering to each other. "Silence, please! Now repeat after me,"

Eobard followed her lead as he said: "Barry, I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband. Before these witnesses, I vow to love you and care for you as long as we both shall live. I take you, with all your faults and strengths, as I offer myself to you with all my faults and strengths. I will help you when you need help, and will turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life."

Barry carefully repeated his version of the lines, wishing he could just shout that he was here against his own wishes. But Eobard had threatened Iris, so he continued saying the meaningless words. 

(Eobard squeezed Barry's fingers very painfully at a line about them being together until death).

The Judge continued "Harrison and Bartholomew, just as two very different threads woven in opposite directions can form a beautiful tapestry, so can your two lives merge together to form a very beautiful marriage. To make your marriage work will take love. Love..."

Barry stopped listening at that point. If he could maybe phase through these - nope, that wasn't happening. At all.

Cisco had done his work well.

"...Harrison Wells and Bartholomew Henry Allen, in so much as the two of you have agreed to live together in Matrimony, have promised your love for each other by these vows, I now declare you to be Husband and Husband. Congratulations, you may kiss your groom."

Eobard tugged Barry towards him for a kiss. After a few seconds, Barry opened his mouth to let Eobard's tongue in; it was unpleasant. 

There was horrified silence from the small crowd behind them. After Eobard slid his tongue out, Barry looked at them, trying to smile to keep their hopes up, and caught Iris's teary expression. Eddie was offering her another tissue; Barry wished he could wipe her tears off by his own hands, but these damn restraints...

Some of what he felt towards her must have been visible in his expression, because Iris blinked and glanced back at Eddie.

"Excuse me, I need to talk to my dad," Barry found himself saying, more to the Judge than to his new husband.

Eobard smiled at the Judge as she stepped down from her raised platform. Barry could hear snippets of their small-talk - Eo saying "By the way, one of my staff devised the cure for my..." and the Judge responding in a pleased way - but Barry had gone too far away from them to hear the rest of Eobard's excuse.

Henry and Joe were among the first to get up from their seats and meet him. Henry gave him a hug first, then Joe did.

“Oh, son. _Son_ ”, Henry said, an arm on Barry’s elbow. It was a normal touch, one that they had not had in years because of Barry’s ...husband.

Eobard Thawne. His husband. Barry felt sick. 

Joe noticed Barry’s expression, and moved a hand to wipe a tear off Barry’s face. When had he started crying? 

Another touch on Barry’s waist, this time from Eobard in his wheelchair. The man had a cheerful smile, which did not freeze off his face once Henry and Joe glared at him. 

Barry clanked unhappily in his restraints, glancing between his two fathers. Henry looked like he was ready to punch Eobard; Joe was holding him back.

“Enough of this, _husband_.” 

One last longing look towards Iris, and Barry was pulled out of the room.

At least they were all still alive, Barry thought to himself as they walked out of the building. 

Later, after the newlyweds were in Wells’s giant house, Eobard moved towards Barry. He was still smiling. 

Barry looked at him blankly. 

Eobard pressed something on the computer on his wrist, showing them both the future newspaper headline. "Flash Missing - Vanishes In Crisis", written by Iris West-Thawne.

"If I don't get my happy ending, neither do you, _Flash_." Eobard whispered into his ear.

**Author's Note:**

> Vows from http://www.captadam.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/captadamceremonies.pdf
> 
> Thank you for reading. Any mistakes are mine.


End file.
